Is Your Relationship In Crisis?
Have you and your partner grown apart? Perhaps you feel lonely in your relationship, and you don’t know how to reconnect with your partner.
Does communicating with your partner feel like a constant and exhausting battle?
Perhaps there are intimacy issues, like experiencing different sexual needs that you don’t know how to communicate to your partner. Or, maybe you and your partner feel more like roommates-- simply co-existing.
Do you often wonder what happened to your relationship, and fear that it will never be as it was in the beginning? Do you worry that the passionate spark you once shared might be gone forever?
Feeling alone in your marriage or relationship can be devastating. Perhaps your once sexually vital relationship is now devoid of physical intimacy, or the power dynamics have spiraled out of control. Life changes, such as having children, moving or changing careers place a lot of strain on the relationship and get in the way of your ability to spend quality time together. Perhaps constant arguments over finances have caused resentment or disagreements that quickly turn into hurtful criticism, creating a downward spiral that feels impossible to stop or resolve. You may even feel like you’re living separate lives and no longer see eye-to-eye. Maybe you’ve even begun fantasizing about someone else or are thinking of having an affair. The more distant you and your partner become, the harder it is to reach across the abyss and effectively communicate your needs, be heard and reconnect.
Challenges Arise in Every Relationship
If you are experiencing discord in your primary relationship, you are not alone. From our very first relationship with our parents or caregivers, our biggest life challenges often arise from fostering connections with those who are closest to us.
Conflicts in a marriage or relationship are inevitable, but when those issues are ignored or left unresolved, they can continue to build and undermine even the strongest relationship. From concerns or preferences that have become non-negotiable to not being able to connect intimately, exhausting your energy on arguments or long lapses of silence leaves you both feeling increasingly drained, disconnected and unhappy.
Sexual issues can be one of the main reasons couples struggle. There are a number of factors that can affect sexual desire, such as adapting to sex after emotional trauma, surgery, pregnancy, a cancer diagnosis, or the diagnosis of a variety of sexual dysfunctions. The uncertainty of how to regain sexual intimacy after a major life transition or trauma can feel like an overwhelming task that can create unending frustrations for both partners. In the midst of emotional or physical pain, even when both partners long to reconnect, being sexually out of sync can result in hurt feelings and avoidance of sex altogether.
When aversions or disagreements become the status quo, it can feel impossible to restore trust and security in a way that allows you both to feel loved and sexually compatible. If you feel like your relationship is falling apart, a marriage counselor can help instill positive and lasting change.
Couples Counseling Can Help Your Relationship Get Back on Track and Thrive
Even when persistent challenges and conflicts threaten your relationship, couples psychotherapy can help you identify and address the issues that are at the core of your struggles. Whether the discord in your relationship stems from different childhood-based attachment styles, centers on sexual problems or began with dating issues prior to marriage, I can support you in discovering the strategies and tools you and your partner need to rebuild your connection and regain the trust, intimacy and love that you deserve to share.
I am committed to collaborating with you and your partner as a team, focusing on the needs and concerns of each individual while encouraging mutual openness and honesty in a safe, non-judgmental environment. I unconditionally support LGBTQ+, non-traditional or heterosexual relationships, and I deeply honor and respect any cultural, religious or spiritual values that may help define your orientation and expression. Together, we will explore the dynamics of your relationship and practice constructive ways for the two of you to disagree and resolve your conflicts so that each individual feels valued.
Sessions are customized according to the unique needs of each individual and the couple as a unit, framed in a holistic and mindfulness-based approach to marriage counseling. Incorporating a present-centered focus allows you and your partner to gain increased insight and self-awareness in order to promote long-term success. Relationship counseling focuses on your specific needs, from processing past challenges and traumas to reestablishing sexual connection by unblocking your sexual power. With the guidance of an empathic therapist who understands what you’re going through, you and your partner can learn how to compromise, practice effective communication skills, get your needs met and cultivate a deeper connection with each other.
In couples therapy, I incorporate a variety of different techniques and approaches that I’ve acquired from over 20 years of experience, including mind-body modalities, post-graduate training in couples therapy from the Boulder Psychotherapy Institute, sex therapy training from Naropa University, the Buehler Institute and from California Institute for Integral Studies, where I am currently earning a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. I am a certified Prepare/Enrich® facilitator and can offer an advanced assessment package that helps you both uncover major strength and growth areas in your marriage or relationship, which can be especially helpful for couples who are seeking to fulfill premarital requirements for their church or synagogue or who wish to enter their marriage strongly and skillfully.
No matter how long you’ve been experiencing conflict in your marriage or relationship or the type of challenges that impact your ability to connect, I am confident that I can help empower you to repair the problems in your relationship and experience profound satisfaction and prosperity.
Maybe you still have questions about couples counseling…
Does couples therapy work?
According to the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, over 70 percent of couples report high levels of satisfaction from couples therapy. Studies from the University of MN report success rates as high as 80 percent. Several other reports find that couples who receive marriage counseling tend to feel less stress, are healthier and more productive overall.
While couples therapy is not a quick fix, being proactive is a foundational key to beginning to resolve the core issues of your marriage. Because relationships are highly complex, engaging in couples therapy is a commitment and a process that is different for every couple. Together, we will work through your individual needs and issues toward positive transformation.
What if my partner won’t go?
While relationship counseling is most effective when both partners are present and motivated to work on their issues, sometimes it may take one partner a little longer to give counseling a try. Regardless of whether or not your partner agrees to receive professional relationship advice, you can still benefit from attending individual therapy sessions that focus on your relationship concerns. After a while, your partner may agree to start therapy after witnessing your personal growth and commitment to healing and strengthening the relationship.
Will counseling lead to divorce?
When personal shifts occur in therapy, these changes can impact the relationship dynamic in beneficial and perhaps challenging ways. However, as a mindfulness-based couples therapist, I can guide you and your partner as you safely explore your needs and support the decisions you both make about the direction of your relationship. While divorce or uncoupling can be painful, it can also be viewed as successful and healing if approached consciously.
You Can Evolve Your Relationship and Transform Your Connection
To discover more about how to fix a broken relationship or how to revitalize your marriage, I invite you to contact me to schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation.